“Our minds are running in different directions”, I wail.
“We are two individuals”, you reply.
I feel agitated and fall silent.
With my heavy heart I recollect the details
and attempt an analysis in my perturbed silence.
My initial disappointment and distress
gradually gives way to an altered perception.
I see that you were not being indifferent
or cruel as I presumed.
It is just natural that two people think on different lines.
It is difficult to presume what the other might be thinking.
It is too much to wish for from my side
to think on the same line with you,
or to make you share my strain of thinking.
But I am the child, the stubborn one,
who wants the unattainable.
I have the drive, the will, and the perseverance
but it needs two to try out what I dream of
and that is the difficult part of it.
I have tried and outgrown my innate
impulse to react spontaneously
when let down, hurt or in doubt.
I have trained myself to be patient and quiet.
I wait in silence.
I have realized through experience that
patience really pays.
But at moments of forgetfulness triggered by
assurance engendered by faith in love,
I cease to be the new me and
lose patience and start bothering you with
questions seeking reassuring answers.
You get upset and fight with me
and I lose my stability, whatever little I have.