“Our
minds are running in different directions”, I wail.
“We are
two individuals”, you reply.
I feel
agitated and fall silent.
With my
heavy heart I recollect the details
and
attempt an analysis in my perturbed silence.
My
initial disappointment and distress
gradually
gives way to an altered perception.
I see
that you were not being indifferent
or cruel as I presumed.
It is
just natural that two people think on different lines.
It is
difficult to presume what the other might be thinking.
It is too
much to wish for from my side
to think on the same line with you,
or to
make you share my strain of thinking.
But I am
the child, the stubborn one,
who wants
the unattainable.
I have
the drive, the will, and the perseverance
but it
needs two to try out what I dream of
and that
is the difficult part of it.
I have
tried and outgrown my innate
impulse
to react spontaneously
when let down, hurt or in doubt.
I have trained
myself to be patient and quiet.
I wait in
silence.
I have
realized through experience that
patience
really pays.
But at
moments of forgetfulness triggered by
assurance
engendered by faith in love,
I cease
to be the new me and
lose
patience and start bothering you with
questions
seeking reassuring answers.
You get
upset and fight with me
and I
lose my stability, whatever little I have.
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